“Is it a sin to . . .?”

When I was a youth pastor and we would be talking about dating, love, marriage, and sex, I would give the students a chance to write down questions anonymously.  Many questions would try to get some clarification, around the topic of physical touch, of what actually is a sin.  Even in our adulthood, we want to know what is an action that is “allowable” in God’s eyes but yet not officially sin.  If we can somehow maybe figure out that magical line between dabbling in fun, even questionable, behavior but not actually sinning, then we can truly have our cake and eat it too, right?

Here’s the catch . . . we’ve been making and enjoying the wrong cake all along.  The culture around us has been increasingly communicating that we should pursue whatever feelings we have sexually, as long as it’s mutual and doesn’t hurt anyone.  Plus, if we don’t have our guard up, our identity will be more defined by our sexual preference, our “chosen” gender, and our sin, rather than how God sees us.  It’s no wonder that we never feel satisfied, when we’re chasing after an ever-changing “cake.”

Let’s return to that question above, “When have I actually crossed that line?”   With this question, we assume two things:  The main sin issue that we need to be concerned about is physical AND God reluctantly allows us to have some fun, but He’s got to draw the line somewhere.  Let’s use an unrelated topic as an illustration: gambling.  Does God approve of gambling?  The better question is, “Since God’s in charge of money, what does he have to say about it?”  When we do this, we start thinking about how best to steward the money that we have, because it’s actually God’s money that He’s given us to use for the best eternal benefits.  Sure, it’s a more convicting way to look at it :-\, but it’s also the more liberating way to look at it because it produces the best results financially, emotionally, relationally, spiritually, etc.

So, the questions that brings us to the most fulfilling, abundant life are questions like this:  “Does God have anything to say about sex?  What is his desire for me right now as a male/female?”  We’re afraid of the answers for numerous reasons:  

• We may have to admit that we’ve already sinned.

• We think we won’t get to do what we really want to do.

• We won’t have the strength or ability to do what God wants.

• We, if we’re honest, just don’t like the answer, “No.”  

What is the cake that you’re truly wanting to eat?  Is that “cake” bringing you deep satisfaction and helping you become the person you want to be?  God has the best recipe regarding sex and has the only proven way that sex finds its right place in our lives: between a man and woman within the context of a marriage relationship.  As a result, sex becomes the beautiful thing that it was always supposed to be.  Unfortunately, for way too many people, sex is anything but a beautiful thing - it has caused hurt, destruction, pain, and created more hurdles than doorways.  Yet, there is true forgiveness, there is lots of fun, and there is always grace to be able to start doing the right thing.  God invites all honest interaction around this topic, He’s able to handle all our inquiries.

So, rather than trying to do whatever you can on your own while not offending God too much, how about making your life and sex life about honoring the one who created sex to begin with?  Take the principles found in Genesis 2:18-25 and Matthew 5:27-30, follow Jesus with all you are, and see how God transforms your questions and your life.  Oh yea, make sure you have someone pursuing this with you - we need each other.

There’s lots of great resources, here’s two that help give perspective:  www.apathtopurity.org and www.christian-sexuality.com.

A Rural White Guy Dares to Address Racism in America

I may be the least qualified of anybody to speak frankly about racial unity in this country.  I am a white male, almost 50, living in rural Minnesota.  I have one good friend and only a handful of "official friends" on Facebook who are African American.  Oh yea, and I wasn't even born in this country, though I've lived here over 90% of my life.

Why, then even dare to speak about it?  Two reasons: There is an answer to the tension that needs to be spoken of often, lived out courageously, and applied to people on both (or all) sides of the issue.  Also, I figure I cannot do anything about the color of my skin or the history of my country, but I do have a choice as to how I treat people of all skin colors and I may even have a say in the future of how my people in my country treat each other.

As a pastor and a student of The Bible, I must start every single conversation about every single conflict with our one basic problem - sin.  As has been said numerous times over the years "racism is not a skin issue, it is a sin issue."  My love for every single human being is not rooted in the fact that I'm Christian, or have a great family, or just have that personality type.  Rather it is rooted in the love that has been shown me by others, especially by Jesus Christ, God Himself, when He died on the cross in my place.  He did this NOT because I was so worth it, but because He loves me, period.  I love, period, because He first loved me.

Oh, and, by the way, I need someone to die for my sins just as much as you and anybody else needs it.   I don't care how many bad things you've done (though I know you've done bad things), I don't care what kind of bad things you've done (though I know that you deserve hell, just like I do), I don't care the color of your skin (though I know that African-Americans in our country have been dealt an awful hand).  I care that each person, where they're at, can overcome and deal with racism through Jesus Christ.

Bold prediction:  racism will get worse before it gets better in this country.  I know this because we are allowing seeds of selfishness, materialism, self-sufficiency, and sexual haphazardness find fertile ground in our culture of "no judgment, relativistic, inclusivism."  The only way to deal with racism is through the study of and submission to Jesus Christ himself, the most TRULY loving and inclusive person to ever walk the face of this earth.  Let's learn how He has compassion for the hurting and how the hurting must-need submit to Him.

Until we love the way Jesus loves and accept the love with which He loves us, we cannot truly love and accept people while calling them and ourselves to lives of purity and selflessness.

The Beauty of Submission

I can hardly wait 'til I meet with John, because I know he's going to confront me on my gambling problem, which I don't think is a problem.  In fact, I'm really looking forward to hear his side of the debate on whether it's a sin or not to spend hundreds of dollars on these sites, which is just another form of entertainment, really! 

Does this quote look familiar?  Probably not.  If we're involved in something that may or may not be wrong, yet enjoy it and justify it's existence, the last thing we invite is someone's opinion that it's an outright SIN.  I mean, how rude of them, right!  When is it right, if ever, to confront someone with questionable behavior?

Allow me to give you another sports analogy.  A professional baseball player is going through a hitting slump (all of them do, by the way).  At the same time, the hitting coach notices that he is reverting back to some old habits that are contributing to the slump.  What is the coach's responsibility, at this point?  Some would say that it depends on who the batter is and on what kind of instruction this coach has provided in the past for this batter.  Some would say that, since he's the hitting coach, he has the right and obligation to approach the batter and explain what he sees.  Somehow, someway, he does need to let it be known what is clear to him even if these things are undetected by the batter or even others.  One main reason is because THAT IS WHAT HE'S THERE FOR!

Now, the batter has a choice as to what he does with this information.  The beautiful, attractive part of him deciding to listen and put into action what the hitting coach says is that he is willingly saying, "I don't have all the answers and I need others to help me." As a result, the other players see his example of humility (always beneficial), the team benefits from his increased production, and the hitting coach is affirmed in his role, giving him more confidence and courage to address other things that his hitters are doing wrong.

A church, in the true, biblical definition of the word, is a gathering of people who are like-minded about who Jesus is and what He accomplished on the cross and in his resurrection.  It's a group of people who all recognize their need for Jesus' death to cover the consequences of their sin (eternal death and punishment in hell) and their need for Him to give them power over the daily struggle with sin.  This is why the Bible gives over 40 direct commands relating to "one another."  A church that gathers without submitting to each other or supporting leadership that can wisely address sin is not, technically, a God-honoring church.  Rather, it become a club where each person has their own interests in mind or a service organization where they provide physical help without offering any spiritual help.

Again, the beauty of a group of people submitting to one another and it's affirmed leadership can be equated to the beauty of a team where each person practices hard, knows their role, and corrects their issues so that the whole team is seen as a "well-oiled machine" by the end of the season.  It's beautiful because it's a WHOLE, not just a bunch of individuals.  It's beautiful because people learn to look out for each other.  It's beautiful because THAT IS WHAT THE CHURCH IS THERE FOR! 

As a conclusion, let it be noted that when submission is ugly, it's because, in our first example, the player wants to do it himself and refuses (either passively or actively) or the coach demands change or simply does not seek input from others or the player.  In both cases, there is no submission, only rebellion or heavy-handedness.

So, first submit yourself to Jesus Christ, acknowledging your sin and need for Him as Savior.  Next, submit yourself to a God-fearing, Bible-driven, Jesus-honoring group of believers by committing to a local church.  The beauty that is produced will be truly amazing!

When Actual Sin Meets Real Love

Why do we expect others to have the same exact ideas of morality as we do? 

Why are we surprised when a person who believes something different than us makes decisions that we don’t agree with? 

If we believe that what we stand for is the best way to go through life, what are we doing to try to convince others of this? 

• Get angry when their actions are different? 
• Make broad statements about their actions without addressing their belief system? 
• Sit in our cozy holy huddle and thank God we are not like them?
• Love them with the love of Jesus, never compromising truth, knowing that God, not us, is the one what changes hearts and minds?

I vote for the last one and my guess would be that Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty would to.  Mr. Robertson was recently fired by the A&E Network for stating his view that homosexuality is sin.  Though his choice of words could have been better, his words, when taken in context of the whole article, make two things very clear about his beliefs:

1.     ALL sin is wrong, whether it’s homosexuality, bestiality, or adultery.

2.     All people deserve to be loved and cared for and spoken to with honesty.

Here’s where a little biblical clarification needs to happen.  God does not equate sin with someone who has homosexual leanings – temptation is not the same as sin.  Rather, just like any desire that I might have to lie on my taxes or watch pornography, the desire to be with someone of the same sex is not a sin until you act on it.  Allow the Bible to explain this (from James 1:13-15):

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

When desire turns to action, whether mental action or physical action, we have crossed that line, said, “NO!” to God, and chosen to go our own way, which leads to death.  If you don’t care how the Bible defines sin that is your right.  At the same time, your belief doesn’t change what God thinks of sin, plus your belief communicates who your authority really is.

A&E had a perfectly legitimate case for doing what they’re doing.  If their authority is public opinion and money, then they should act accordingly.  Similarly, who or what our authority is will drive what we do.  What we do DOES affect others, no matter how we’ve chosen to spin it.  How we’ve chosen to spin it reveals where our loyalty lies.

Where is your loyalty?  Where do you get your right and wrong from?  What is sin and is it a big deal?  We need to each land somewhere.  Phil Robertson has landed somewhere, even if he hasn’t communicated it the way he could have.  The trick is using the whole of Scripture to guide our opinions on issues as well as drive our compassion for people.  This is why I’ll always stand for Jesus, because He did this perfectly.