Thursday, June 22, 2023

Porn is not real


Yet another reason why I love sports is because it is so REAL!  You have two people, or two teams, that are doing their best to win a game and they are all trying to be the best they can be, in the midst of who they actually are.  There’s no acting or pretending, just pure effort and emotion.

On the other hand, much of the entertainment industry is based on people being somebody or doing something that’s been rehearsed or airbrushed or polished in some way.  To be sure, I understand that many movies and TV shows have value despite the fact that those people aren’t really being “themselves.”  There value, though, is because they are seeking to portray real life human activity, emotions, and situations in such a way that it gets you to think about your own situation and even opens your eyes to the much different lives that real people do actually live.  

What IS NOT real about much of media is what brings me to the title of this post.  When people post suggestive or evocative content on line just to get followers, this is harmful (side note:  When content is created to play on people’s fears or to give them permission to satisfy a lustful craving, this is harmful).  Pornography is exactly this.  Humans and their sexuality are intimately connected.  We were created to be relational, to be intimate, and to be sexual, among other things.  When sex, as it is often portrayed, is overwhelmingly communicated in unrealistic ways and in ways that would be unhealthy in real life, that is extremely harmful to all involved.

Examples of this are wide-ranging.  It could be as sublime as portraying sex in popular rom-coms or romance movies, or even many dramas and action flicks, as fulfilling for both partners after just one night or one experience.  Or it could be as blatant as the sex that the multi-billion dollar porn industry ($15-$95 billion per year) portrays.  In these choreographed sex scenes, for instance, both partners perfectly perform with the right bodies and both are equally and easily satisfied.  Or, as an example of something even more damaging, 80% of the top-50-viewed porn movies depicted violence against women.  Of these violent scenes, about 90% of these females had either a neutral or positive reaction to it.  When we as a culture portray sex in such a way and when parents even allow their kids to have access to all kinds of images and pornography in the name of “growing up” or some sort of “right of passage”, we set up young men and women for failure.  We set up everyone for marriages where sex is viewed as, at best, an obligation and, at worst, a chore or ignoring it all together.  Why?  Because our culture has wired brains to think that multiple partners, pornography, and “keeping it spicy” are what sex is all about. 

No one can measure up to things that we aren’t even made for!  So, first, know that anything porn-related (any printed or visual material intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings) must be eradicated from your life because it’s meant to do something that you were created to have, but only from your spouse.  Second, know that if this sounds daunting to you, you are not alone.  There are reasons why pornography is a cultural epidemic: it is highly addictive AND culturally acceptable.  Third, know that the God who created you with all of these desires has a plan for you and wants to bring you to Himself and walk you through fulfilling these desires in His way (which is the best way!).  There are many helpful tools and websites (puredesire.org, apathtopurity.org, covenanteyes.org) to get you going, but please do whatever it takes to have a plan.  The lives of our families and the well-being of our children are at stake!